Enjoy the Time!

by Victoria Duerstock

Eccesiastes3:2-8

² a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
³ a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
⁴ a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
⁵ a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
⁶ a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
⁷ a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
⁸ a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

This week marked the second decade of my daughter’s life. She was born twenty years ago this week, and I have been a mother for twenty years.  Motherhood - that crazy, nutty, hard to navigate, joy to be one, crazy rollercoaster ride. The longer I am a mom though, the less I know. No really, I’m convinced that there really is no point along the way where you feel like you have it all together.  And if you do, watch out because something big that you’ve never experienced before is getting ready to happen: teething, climbing out of the crib, or even another pregnancy. Diaper rash, stomach virus, or emergency room visits are on the horizon if things have been going well.

While I am overly exaggerating to a degree, I think we all can remember those times quite clearly and wishing we could just make it to the next season of life with our kids just a little bit faster. You have likely heard the adage – the days are long but the years are short.  This turns out to be so amazingly true.  The never ending barrage of runny noses, leaky diapers and late night feedings, turns into endless evenings of sports practices, piano and dance lessons and late night homework assignments.  Then the clock ticks and we are prepping for homecoming, GPA pressure and graduation.  If we are fortunate, we get to hold on a little longer if they stay close by to go to the next step whether that’s secondary education or a job.

Whatever the case, it doesn’t last long. It’s over before we can sit down and contemplate how wonderful it really was in the end to watch them grow through the years and learn to take on all that life throws at them.  The good and the bad, the joys and sorrows and the wins and the losses all combine to leave a bittersweet thread that remembrance colors much easier than the reality that it was in the moment. 

If you are a young mom just getting started on this motherhood ride, be encouraged.  You’ll do it all wrong and all right and in the end you’ll do what you need to do and with God at your side it will be all they need.

If you are a mom moving through the treacherous adolescent years, be encouraged.  This too shall pass.  Find your steady anchor in the Lord and do all you can.  It’s ok to say No and to hold the line.

If you are a mom with teenagers growing and moving beyond the bounds of your home, be encouraged.  This is what our job was.  Raise them to face life with vigor and excitement, while being rooted and grounded in love and grace. 

None of the stages or seasons are easy, and some days we will look back and long for the “simpler” days, but we have to remember that life is not lived in reverse or with the luxury of a rearview mirror.  We must continue moving forward allowing God’s grace to fill us with His love and raise our children the very best we can while we have them in our arms or our homes.

I have found myself a bit weepy this week.  Not because I’m sad really, but because I can’t believe that twenty years could go so fast.  In some ways I wish I could do it again and do it better, but my prayer is that the Lord continues to fill the gaps I leave behind, and gives me a reminder to continue to be the best mom I can be today and tomorrow and the rest of my days.