Woman to Woman: How to Be a Helper to Your Husband

What kind of wife does your husband want you to be? Look no further than Genesis 2:18-25 to find out.

Adam and Eve were the very first married couple on earth. God created Eve to be a helper for Adam. She was an invaluable treasure who supported him in his God-given role.

In our culture today, many wives are irritated at the idea of being a helper. It elicits a feeling of being less valuable. Maybe you feel uncomfortable with the idea of having to follow, and would rather lead.

I know this is hard. I’ve struggled with it myself.

We wives live under a curse as sinful human beings. Remember what God said to Eve after they sinned? She would have the desire to control her husband, rather than help him as God intended. (Genesis 3:16 NLT) All of us have struggled with our roles as helpers ever since.

I’ve casually observed many other marriages over the years, looking for clues for what makes marriages work. The happiest marriages I’ve seen have one thing in common: the wives were willing to fulfill their helper roles. Can you say this is true of the marriages you’ve seen?

Our husbands deeply want us to fulfill the role God created us to have. Your husband was created to lead, and every leader needs a helper to be successful. He might not tell you this, because he doesn’t want to offend you. But God wired this need into your husband, and with God’s power, you can meet that need.

You are the very best helper for your husband in every aspect of your marriage. You are his top supporter, encourager, friend, companion, cheerleader, and confidante. When you offer practical help to meet your husband’s needs, he feels loved and blessed.

Your husband will have specific areas where he needs your help. My husband likes to cook, and he often asks me to be his sous chef (the one who preps the ingredients). I can tell he relishes his chef role even more when I serve as his helper.

Your husband may not like to cook, but I’m certain there’s an area where he wants you to serve as his helper. Whether it’s his work, ministry, health goals, extended family relationships, or financial obligations, your husband has unique needs where your help can lift his load.

Think about the ways your husband has thanked you or praised you in the past for helping him. These are the ways my husband appreciates my help:

Cleaning the house
Running errands
Doing laundry
Planning vacations
Hosting parties

If you aren’t sure how to start helping your husband, pick something small. Watch how he responds to your help and open a discussion with him. In my marriage, when I’ve taken the initiative to help my husband, he naturally responds by helping me more in turn. You will be blessed when you step into your role as your husband’s number one helper.

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