For me, I find it easy to forgive in words, but the sting of anger and betrayal is still there. If I don't forgive from the heart, it is worthless. I am still harming myself and ultimately harming the relationship.
When we hold on to unforgiveness, it grows in our heart.
I love what Courtney from Women Living Well has to say in her new book Women Living Well: Finding Joy in God, Your Man, Your Kids and Your Home:
My children have a favorite tree they love to climb in our backyard,but last spring we found a massive vine of poison ivy crawling upthe tree. Out of fear for my children’s safety, I worked vigilantly tospray and remove all the poison ivy. I knew if they rubbed up againstit, they would be in a lot of pain, and the tree would no longer be apleasant place.
In the same way, I want to caution wives to not poison their marriageswith their lack of forgiveness. If you continue to hold on toyour hurts, a root of bitterness will grow inside of you. This bitternessover time will poison your marriage. Scripture tells us, “ThenPeter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sinagainst me, and I forgive him?As many as seven times?’ Jesus saidto him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times’”(Matt. 18:21–22)
Has your husband wronged you in some way? Has he hurt your feelings with his words or actions? Has he crossed lines? Sister, take it to the cross. Cry out to Jesus. Then leave it there and forgive your husband. There is such a beautiful freedom in forgiveness.