Friday, April 12, 2013

Understanding your man

Contrary to popular belief our husbands know they aren't perfect. They aren't stupid and they don't really need us pinpointing every single thing that's wrong with them. They don't need us correcting them. When they make a mistake they feel it as badly as we do when we make a mistake...they are on a journey too ladies, God loves them too...

With that being said, the Resolution for Women book discusses two big fears our husbands have...

The fear of being found inadequate
The fear of being controlled by a woman

"Which leads them to the following attitudes and aspirations, Your man wants to be your hero. He wants to feel like he is worthwhile to you and needed by you. He desires more than anything to see a look of love and admiration in your eyes. He wants to know that you celebrate him, depend on him, feel privileged to be married to him and expect great things from him."

In my own marriage I have come to learn that when I affirm my husband, "honey that was a good dinner you just made" or "hun thanks so much for loading the dishwasher.." it makes him want to do more, try harder, go further. When I tell him thank you for working so hard for our family I find it gives him a better day at work, that he's actually working for something, not just being used as a paycheck.

It does NOT help matters when you go to a church function or call your mom and complain about your husband. It does NOT make him want to do better or even begin to appologize for that thing that hurt you so bad. Yes, we as women need an outlet, pick one or two very close godly friends to confide in. Friends that will speak life into your heart, that will cover you and your marriage in prayer. When you let the outside world into your marriage it only makes your man feel like a failure and want to give up.

Just like you need encouragement and life so does your husband..speak life to your man, no matter what he's done he needs to know you won't give up on him...that is showing your husband the love of Jesus like nothing else will.

The next fear is being controlled by a woman...I feel like this could be a whole other blog post. I am SO controlling. I am not good at letting go and letting God and forget letting go and letting my husband...BUT God is working on me.

"Men aren't turned on by demanding, screaming wives who don't recognize their value and significance, but by wives who know the strategic way to getting them started"

Your man will NOT help you fold those clothes just because you've told him "10 times and he still hasn't moved.." He will not put away his shoes just because you scream at him.

For one day...the next 24 hours, let your man be a man. Refuse to allow yourself to correct him or offer any unsolicited advice or to critize his choices...let him be your man.


  1. YES! This is really good. I hurt for men when I hear their wives talking about them to everyone. And I try really hard to not do this myself, though I know I have. When we talk about our husband, other than to our close accountability partner, it just tears them down and makes them feel insignificant and useless. Wonderful encouragement Mandy!!

  2. This is so amazing for me right now. we have just embarked on reading "The power of prayer to change your marriage" (Stormie Omartian) and this word today speaks right into the heart of where we are, thank you.


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