Friday, January 20, 2012

Unmet {Unfair} Expectations

I expect my children to take their cups and their plates to the sink.

I expect my children to make their beds in the morning.

I expect my daughter to put food in her cat's bowl every morning.

I expect my children to put thier toys away in the correct bins after they are done playing with them.

I expect my children to say please and thank you before and after everything they ask for/get.


I expect my husband to put his coat and shoes away when he walks in the door.

I expect my husband to take his cup and plate to the sink when he finishes a meal.

I expect my husband to help with whatever needs done around the house ie: making the bed, loading the dishwasher, switching laundry around...WITHOUT me asking him.

I expect my husband to help in disciplining our children when they have done something wrong

I expect my husband to spend our money earned wisely


Let me tell you, these things I have listed above are unfair expectations. I know that most of them are common sense and most of them are just done without thinking BUT no one is perfect. When I hold my children and my husband to a higher standard than I hold myself and they "mess up" one of their duties then I get angry. My selfish sinful nature rises up and wants to declare foul! Toys won't always get picked up, laundry won't always be done, discipline won't always be agreed upon and plates and cups will sometimes be left on the table or in the living room.

No one...NO ONE is perfect, that means we as wifes, mothers, daughters, children of God are NOT perfect. We won't get it all done in one day. We won't always have a clean house, we won't always choose a slow quiet tone with our children. We will mess up. We will have bad days and we will want to throw in the towel and scream into our pillows every once in a while.

I'm here to tell you THAT'S O.K!

That's where grace comes in. Grace says it's ok My Child, you can come to Me and I will give you rest. This burden you have put on yourself is too heavy, this burden you have put on others is too heavy, lighten the load and there will be peace in your house.

Today, this weekend...if you're carrying around unmet, unfair expectations ease up on your family a little. They are, after all, only human. Enjoy the small moments God gives you. The laundry and dishes can wait. Let the toys linger. Enjoy the sounds of a full house and happy children. Your only true happiness is found in the peace of God anyway, not the clean of a house or the actions of another sinful human being.

Enjoy your weekend friends, remember always ~ YOU are loved.

Today this was for me as much as it was for anyone else who reads this, thank You Lord for speaking to me and through me for this blog.


  1. Wow Mandy! Incredible lesson for all of us. I know there are times that I hold my husband and children to a higher standard than I hold myself. When I mess up, it's okay, I am wife and mom and I am tired. They mess up, my world falls apart. Thank you for this (convicting) encouragement!!

  2. Awesome encouragement, Mandy! None of us are perfect - we need to lighten up, not only on our expectations of our family, but the unfair expectations we put on ourselves.

  3. What about when the 'unfair expectations' are of myself? That's mostly what I deal with. It's a hard pill to swallow when I don't do what I expected me to do! When I fail...mess can I be forgiving. It is much easier to be easy on those around me than it is to be with myself!

    Great post! Definitely a convicting message today!


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