By: Lauren Thomas
Okay, ladies. Can we talk about our words. And no, I’m not singling you out. This is not an issue only we deal with. Though in the past I’ve come across articles espousing that women are more verbose (talkative) than men, more recent research says otherwise. Even James, half-brother to Jesus, wrote that “no one” can tame the tongue (James 3:8) – males included.
But women seem to have a bad rap for their words. Gossip is a big problem that many Christian women have to grapple with. Maybe gossip isn’t your personal struggle. But with all the off-limits speech that the Bible lists – things like gossip, slander, deceit, grumbling, complaining, foolish/filthy talk, crude joking, corrupting talk – I’m sure one of those has been a problem for you, whether on the giving or receiving side.
We’ve all been hurt by the words of another at some point in our lives. (Can we just lay to rest that saying about “sticks and stones…”?) Proverbs 18:21 tells us that death and life are in the power of the tongue. Our words can build others up or tear them down (Ephesians 4:29).
I am a woman. I grew up in church. I know a lot (A LOT) of verses about how-to and how-not-to speak. But recently, a verse in Proverbs made me rethink some things about the power of the tongue.
Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
Proverbs 16:24 ESV
Instead of interpreting this verse as “gracious words are like a honeycomb to the listener,” I read it as “gracious words are like a honeycomb to the speaker.” Words do hold power over the listener, but words hold power over the speaker as well! The words we speak impact us just as powerfully as they impact those around us. When we speak gracious words, it is sweetness to OUR souls and health to OUR bodies.
If gracious words are compared to honeycomb, what could we compare ungracious words to? What about cancer? If that feels extreme, consider the similarities. Cancer can go for some time before being diagnosed. Cancer eats away the body. Cancer is hard to treat. Like a cancer, the impact of our ungracious words can be subtle at first. Our ungracious words slowly destroy us from the inside out. Our complaining can grow into criticism which feeds discontentment and dissatisfaction, which damages our soul.
It can feel impossible to “tame the tongue,” but as I consider how my words are impacting me, it gives me fresh motivation to change my speech. I hope the same for you. I hope that as you consider the power of your words in your own life, you will join me in praying…
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;
keep watch over the door of my lips!
Psalm 141:3 ESV
Reflection:
What kinds of “words” do you struggle with?
What verse could you meditate on to help you with this struggle?
How can you invite Jesus to be the guard at your mouth? How does Jesus want to help you change your speech?
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