Saturday, June 14, 2014

What Your Prayer for a Husband May Say about You

Post by: Brenda

So often my prayers contradict themselves. For instance, I ask God to give me patience while at the same time praying that there's not a line at the grocery store. The circumstance that God may want to use to answer my first prayer, I'm asking Him to not use in my second prayer.

Only recently did I realize that this is what I did as a single woman. The verse I prayed more than any other during those years was Psalm 139:23-24: "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" Even though I went through cycles of distrust, I always came back to truly wanting to be searched and tried so that I could become more like Jesus.

At the same time I prayed for a husband. Praying for a husband is not a wrong prayer. Actually, it's a very right prayer because God cares about our future spouse. But in my mind, I had a very distinct vision of the husband and marriage I wanted. And it was an easy one.

My dream was to get married in my 20's. I wanted four children. I thought I would stay-at-home with them full-time. Actually, I thought I would not work outside-the-home after I had children. We would have a nicely decorated house, live in the suburbs, and live a safe life.

There's nothing wrong with any of these blessings, in-and-of-themselves. Except they contradicted the other prayer I was praying - the one where I asked God to search my heart. God knew my prayer for a safe life would not accomplish my "search me" prayer. Maybe the same is true for you. 

Maybe you are asking God for a husband while at the same time asking Him for things that marriage would keep you from having right now. Things like a becoming a woman of integrity or overcoming an addiction or healing from a broken relationship.

Then you must ask the question - Do I want a husband more than wholeness in Christ?

If your answer is "yes", then the desire for a husband is an idol in your life. Anything that takes the place of our affection for God, and our desire to be whole in Him, is an idol. My desire for a husband was most definitely an idol in my life.

A healthy single woman will get to the place in her prayer life where she is able to say,

"God, I want a husband, and I ask you to please bring me a husband. But don't bring him if marriage will keep me from knowing you intimately, serving you intentionally, and becoming all you want me to be."

Even if you admit you want a husband more (and trust me, I admitted it a time or two either verbally or with my actions), deep down you probably know that there will still be an unfilled hole in your heart. Nothing, nothing, takes the place of Jesus. Even when we give it permission to, the hole is filled only temporarily. It just becomes gaping again.

What do you think? What may your prayer for a husband say about you?


  1. I love this post! I have done this a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'll pray for a husband as an escape to get out of a bad situation I'm in like a job I hate where in reality I should probably be looking for a new job.

  2. Hi Brenda! I just discovered this blog through a blogger-friend who shared this post.

    You've brought so much Truth out into the open with this post! Thank you! It is so true that if we're more focused on the getting married/having babies part of our future than the current (and future!) relationship we have with Christ, there's something wrong. I truly believe that God will wait to bring my husband and I together until we're both solely focused on Him. After all, our marriage must be centered on Him, so how will we be able to live that if our single lives weren't?

    Feel free to check out my blog! :)

  3. Great Post! It's funny, okay not funny but ironic, that in came across this blog soon after publishing a post on my 'future hubby' - I totally agree with what you said, we are almost always at risk of prioritizing the gifts as opposed to the great Giver. Lord help us!

    Thanks for sharing!

    Visiting from - A Victorious Woman of Faith:

  4. Oh and YES! the post I was talking about is this one -


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