Monday, May 19, 2014

When He Isn't Lovable

Let's be real. Men have bad days from time to time. They do or say things we don't like. Sometimes our husbands get on our nerves. Sometimes they are even hard to love.

Have you had one of those days? Be honest because we all have. Whatever is going on in his heart, mind or spirit is causing him to be "unlovable." In these moments, we just want as far away from his negativity or meanness as we can get.

What to do when your #husband isn't #lovable. #wife #marriage

So what do we do when he isn't lovable? Here are two bits of advice.


  • We love him anyway.

You press on and you love him anyway. Just because he isn't in a mood that you find enjoyable doesn't mean you stop loving him. No, we don't have to like the behavior, but we can still love him. Love is a choice. We have to choose to love him despite his attitude.

Think about it, sometimes we are unlovable too. As wives we are not cheerful and joyous twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. We have moments where we are moody, sometimes even for no reason at all. We have times where we are cranky and mean. Do you want your husband to stop loving you in those moments? Of course not! We want them to love us and be there for us in those moments. That means, we must do the same. The whole do unto others rule, remember?

  • Pray for him.

Pray the Fruits of the Spirit over him. Pray that God gives him love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Pray that whatever he is facing, he will take it to Jesus. Prayer is a powerful tool. There is nothing more powerful than prayer. I imagine a great big grin of happiness on God's face when a wife lifts her husband in prayer.

In a loving way let him know that you are praying for him. Don't say, "What is your problem!? You need prayer!" Instead say, "I am sorry for whatever you are facing. I am praying for you." Continue to pray the Spirit over him until you see a change. 

The next time your husband has his moments where he isn't very lovable, remember that sometimes you are unlovable too and press on. Love him through it and pray him through it.



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