Monday, January 20, 2014

Talking About The "S" Word

Today we are going to talk about that "S" word that so many women run from...submission. What is submission really? Are we really called by God to submit to our husbands?

Women see that word, submission, and automatically clam up because we are told by the world that we must be strong and independent. And we think submission means to be our husbands servant, his doormat. To be this quiet, meek little wife that gets ruled over with an iron thumb.

But that is not what submission is at all!

Jesus was meek. Do you think our Savior was weak? Of course not! Jesus was mighty and powerful, not at all weak. One definition of meek from Websters is gentle and kind. Jesus was gentle and kind. Jesus was also powerful and He used that power to control Himself and be meek.
Meekness is not weakness, it is strength under control. ~Abraham Lincoln
I've always heard and said that submission is strength controlled. If you submit to your husband, then friend, you are a strong woman. Do not be your husband's doormat. But be submissive.

Wives submit to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church,
His body, of which He is the Savior.
How as the church submits to Christ,
so also should wives submit to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:22-24

We are told right there in the Word of God to submit to our husband. To let him lead us. This is what God called him to do, to be the leader of his home. So how do we submit to him as God tells us to, how do we let him lead? Here are 5 ways to submit:
  • Let your husband make decisions. Your husband needs to lead the home and that means making decisions. Don't make all of the decisions in your home. Give him your thoughts and opinions, but let him be the one to make the final decision. When we bought our home, this is not the house I wanted. I wanted a different house that was remodeled and wouldn't need any work done. But my husband felt this house was the best one for our family. Turns out, if we would have gotten the house I wanted, we would have either gotten very sick or lost our home when dangerous levels of lead poisoning were found and the house was condemned a short time later. Pray that God would guide your husband in making good decisions that reflect God's plan, then let him make those decisions.
  • Let him pray. It is good for everyone in the family to pray. But our children need to hear the head of the house pray. Us wives need to hear our husbands pray. If he is not yet comfortable praying in front of the family, that is fine. Give him time. But pray that God would direct him and give him the confidence to lead his family in prayer and devotions.
  • Let him be the dad. Dads are known for saying, "Go ask your mother." And moms are known for handling it all. As a stay at home mom, I tend to know more of where things are located, our schedule, etc. So it is so easy for my husband to tell the kids, "Go ask your mom." But that is not always best and does not allow our husbands to be a father. Just last week when I heard my daughter ask my husband if she could play on the computer and he replied with the famous last words, God quickened my heart. I replied my husband, "What do you think? Can she play right now?" After a moment of shock registered on his face, he told our girl she could play for a little bit if her room was clean. We need to give our husbands room to be the dad.
  • Don't contradict him, especially in front of others. Honor your husband by not going against him. If he does or says something you disagree with, go to him in private and calmly and respectfully tell him your side. But never, ever go against him in front of others. That is the number 1 way to kill his spirit.
  • Pray for him. Pray that God would give him the authority he needs to lead in a Godly way. Pray that he would step up to the plate as a leader in your family, home and marriage. Pray that he would make wise and Godly decisions. And pray that God would help you to be submissive as He has called you to be.
Remember, being submissive is not being a doormat. It is not being weak. Be strong, but control your strength. Respect and honor your husband in a way God intended.

Is submission a scary word for you? Do you shy away from it? Has this helped you to understand the word and meaning a little more? Comment below and share your thoughts on submission with us.


  1. This is such a needed message in todays world! Thanks for sharing your heart!

  2. I often find it hard to be submissive because my husband isn't a Christian (I wasn't either when we married), and sometimes he makes decisions that aren't godly. It's a very difficult position to be in- especially in front of our children.

  3. redheadmom8, that's a great point. My belief is, as long as he is not asking you to do something against God, we should still be submissive. But we should never go against God. I am sure that is a difficult position to be in. I will be praying for you. If you ever want to talk, email me,


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