Friday, January 10, 2014

Parenting the Thoughts and Questions of our Kids

"Mommy... do I fit in this family? Sometimes I don't feel like I fit, like I belong." said one of my girls sadly before bed one night.

I was shocked.


I was prepared to blast in with, "Of course you fit in this family!!!"

I wanted to convince her that she was a perfect fit for our family. That she belonged no matter what.

She fit and she belonged and I couldn't believe she even questioned it.

But I didn't want to react. I wanted to respond. I could sense that this was heavy on her heart.

That she wanted a real answer... not a "Mommy loves you because your my baby" answer.

With the Holy Spirit's help, I quietly spoke. "Yes, baby. You do fit in. I know we all have days that we feel different or like we might not belong. But you belong. You always belong. Because Jesus placed you in our family and God designed our family exactly the way He wanted to for a purpose. He has a plan. And we are all a part of that plan."

She answered, "But... I mess up. I'm not always the best girl."

Inside I was crying... how did she even feel that way?

As she talked, the other girls got quiet. I realized that maybe they've all felt that way at some point.

Then, remembering... I might have felt that way sometimes.

Without anyone ever even purposefully making me feel that way.

Whether with family or friends or church groups or school kids or other activities... we all have moments where we feel so different that we think we might not belong.We all feel like we've messed up...

Crazy to hear my kids voice their doubts, their fears...

Scary that Satan can so quickly plant such terrible seeds in their precious minds...

It made me think.

Are we in tune to the things our kids are thinking?
Are we taking the time to listen to their quiet questions?
Are we interested in their deeper thoughts?
Are we taking the time to respond, asking the Holy Spirit to guide our words?

We ended with beautiful mommy/daughter discussion. I pray that words of Truth pierced the lies. I pray that I listened and helped and guided so that next time those thoughts come around, they can do battle.

Take the time to listen to your kids this week. What are they thinking and feeling? Are you giving them quiet moments to voice their concerns and fears? Are you seeking the Holy Spirit for answers of Truth?


  1. Raising children is not for the weak. This took me back to when my daughter was young and going through her own season of questions. It sounds like you're doing a great job.

    1. thank you... this is a side of parenting we don't always think about or talk about. thanks for your input!

  2. Oh this is really good. We've definitely had some tough to answer question come our way. And I am not always perfect about truly listening to the heart issue over the question. Thank you for this reminder and encouragement!


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