Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands.
1 Peter 3:1-5
We've probably all read this passage before. It's easy to just skim through it and move on.
I'm not naturally gentle, I'm sure not quiet. I have no idea how to do either of these things. I find myself thinking, "well this is just for those perfect wives...perfect hair, perfect skin. Perfectly clean houses. women that never make any mistakes...I'm so not perfect so why even try..."
Maybe you can relate?
Until I read this chapter in Resolution for Women...the author spells it out in a way I never thought about before..
Gentle ~ "In the greek language of the Bible this is the word praus..meaning not to be overly impressed with oneself, to be humble, considerate and meek. Simply put, we are to be kind to our husbands, the same way we want them to be kind to us...."
I have a horrible time of trying to be gentle, but I can dish out criticsm like no body's business..how about you? Do you think you would enjoy your husband telling you day in and day out..."honey this house is a mess you need to get busy, can't you clean better than that?!"
or "can't you do anything right? It seems like I'm raising these kids all by myself, you never do anything to help me everything you do is wrong!"
Some of you might say "oh I could never say that to my husband!" but isn't that what we're doing when we constantly nag...we find ourselves looking down at our husbands, our humble spirit goes out the window and the kindness goes with it.
Quiet~ This comes from the greek word Hesychois...it means to be well ordered, to lead a peaceable and discreet life, thus lightening the task of the authority"
"If we will funnel our wifely behavior and responses through this biblical filter, we will intentionally become more careful and circumspect. We'll try hard to see things from our husband's perspective without just running roughshod over him with our own stances, viewpoints and interpretations. We'll keep the larger, longer-term goals of our marriage in mind instead of getting bogged down in little ankle-biting skirmishes over nothing. Rather than fighting to keep ourselves from being overlooked or taken advantage of, we'll focus on what would help him complete his tasks for our family with more widsom, vision and clear thinking. We'll attemp to make things easier isntead of harder for him, tempering our words and actions with peace and discreetness, causing to feel more confident because he knows we're not here to tear him down but to build him up."
"Whether you're single, engaged or marriage for a long time aspire in all you do, to be a load lifter, a burden lightener...instead of a needy woman, looking to be served, coddled and made content by her man."
Gentle and quiet...humble and load lifter....I think that's pretty doable don't you?
Of course none of this will be possible without the help of Jesus...I'm so far from gentle or quiet so obviously I need lots and lots of prayer time and maybe you do to? Take it to God sister...lets not add to our husbands stress but search out ways to help him, to ease his burden...then we'll truly be showing him Jesus in all we do.
"I will be faithful to my husband and honor him with my conduct and conversation in order to bring glory to the name of the Lord. I will aspire to bea suitable partner for him to help him reach his God-given potention."
**Excerpts taken from The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer