Friday, July 22, 2011

Feeling guilty?

There is a grocery list of things we as moms have the potential to feel guilty for. The big one is taking time for ourselves.

I don't care what experts think or what the world thinks, I believe it is essential for a mom/wife to take time out for herself. The Bible tells us to put away all selfishness ~ is taking a time out considered selfishness? If the husband is at home with the kids and you decide out of frustration to leave or run and hide upstairs that could be considered selfish BUT if you're running away from your family and running to God is that considered selfish? No I don't think so.

I want to start going to the gym. I have access to a free gym through my mother's work and it's open 24/7. As hard as I try I can not make myself get up at 5am to go for 2 hours before my husband leaves for work. Tonight I had plans of going and spending 2 hours until the kids went to bed then come home and let my husband do his errands. Guilt and shame creeped up on me and told me I was being a bad mom wanting to run away from my kids and take a few hours to myself. I have felt like  God is telling me to get healthy but I could not make myself leave. If I tell my kids and my husband to wait until I get done then they can have me, is that selfishness? It's a fine line to balance me time and family time.

I've heard a lot that the woman sets the tone for her home, but if we're spent from spending all day every day with the kids or all day every day at work with gossiping co-workers then isn't it good for your family for you to spend a little time with God away from your family to get filled back up so you can give yourself to your family once again? I think husbands want to help us with housework but they don't know what they can help with, give your husband a list and have him watch the kids or take the kids on a daddy date and take some time for yourself. I think we should kick guilt and shame out the window and take a mommy time-out. I'll be talking more about mommy time-outs in a future post.

Do you struggle with this? Do you take time out for yourself every once in a while? Please share your thoughts on this with me, I'd love to know how you balance you time and family time.


  1. This is so true. If we love our kids, we need to take care of their mommy. Even if it is only a bubble bath or walk down the street after the kids are tucked in a night. We need to do something to take care of ourselves. Great reminder.

  2. I do struggle with this. In fact this week I have been struggling with just being a mom. I totally need that pink shirt..."mommy needs a time out." When mama's happy, everybodys happy, right!? Taking time out for ourselves is a protect or sanity. When I am alone even for 10 minutes it helps...don't feel guilty for needing this...we can't forget we too need a break from fussing, fighting, and whining all day long!

  3. I think this is something too many moms feel guilty about. But if we talk to our husbands and work out a schedule that works best for everyone, I think it will all work out. Mommys definitely need a break.

  4. Great post. Mommy time outs are so important to you and your family. This past year our family put a focus on "Mommy time outs" so I could do just what you are talking about and get healthy. Not only are my time outs helping me physically but also mentally. I'm just more fun to be around and enjoy life so much more now that I am exercising. I look forward to reading your future posts on your journey. Blessings.

  5. I don't feel too guilty when I spend time away from the kids, BUT... I don't get to do that very often! I'm finding that it's not time away from them that I really want, it's time together as a family with my husband that I need the most. I agree, it is much harder when we are with the kids all day and we absolutely need God to give us the endurance and extra patience to get through, so there is certainly nothing wrong with taking a time out to get that! Great post Mandy!

  6. I'm very blessed in that I have a lot of me time. I live in the Philippines, and here we have help who do the housework. So I come home from work, and am able to go into my studio and draw and paint and whatever I want to do. I am always amazed reading blogs of women who are able to "do it all" from homeschooling, cooking, serving in church, etc. Superwomen!


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