Monday, March 28, 2011

Hidden Dangers

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Today I want to talk about the hidden dangers in marriage.  Those things that you think are okay, but Satan is just waiting to use them against you.

I love to read.  Reading is relaxing and calming for me.  As much as my husband can not understand how since he does not like reading, it is also entertaining to me.  As a matter of fact, I have a stack of eight books sitting on my nightstand waiting to be read.  I made a decision a long time ago to only read Christian fiction.  So my books are romance novels, but the Christian ones.  They are full of Godly morals and scriptures and they do encourage and uplift me.  However, there are still hidden dangers I have to watch out for. 

It is so easy to get caught up in the romance and forget the reality.  The man in the novel may knock on her door and surprise her with a plane ride to a romantic dinner for the evening.  Or he may help the young, beautiful widow sign her boys up for baseball and agree to coach them, just because he is so nice, then they fall in love.  Maybe when he got home he realized he was being rude and ran out to buy her flowers and tell her how sorry he was for not being the man she needed.  (yes these are actually things I read *smiles*)  Reading these things can make a girl dream of her husband showing up in the middle of the day with a surprise.  They can make us hope our husbands will actually apologize when they have an attitude.  They give us an ideal that may not be a reality. 

For awhile, I got so wrapped up in this and so disappointed that my husband wasn't like the man in my novels.  God showed me that these books, these ideals, were becoming a danger to my marriage.  For a season, God had me quit reading.  Even though I am reading my novels again, I still have to be very careful to keep at the forefront of my mind, that these are just books.  That the man I am married to, and love, is the reality. 

Let's talk about facebook.  This is another hidden danger in marriage.  We see a friend talking about how her husband just called her just to say her loved her.  Then we wonder why our husband doesn't do that.  We see pictures of a friend's recent romantic getaway and how they had such a great time so we start to wish our husband would take us on a romantic vacation.  Someone posts a picture of the roses her husband just sent her at work and we become upset that our husband has never done that.  Oh and how about those posts that thank their husbands for cleaning up the dinner dishes, or washing her car?  Then we wish our husband would send us off for a bubble bath while he cleans up dinner.

When we let these hidden dangers in our mind and heart, we start to think of how it could be different, even better.  We become dissatisfied with our life and even with our spouse.  This can cause us to be bitter, hurt and angry.  We can even lash out at our husbands, yet they do not have a clue what they did wrong.  Your husband may not be Mr. Romance.  But that is okay, he is still your husband.  We need to praise God for the man He gave us.  We also need to praise our husbands.  Maybe he didn't bring you flowers or buy you jewelry for your birthday.  But find something he did do.  He was home on time from work.  Praise him, tell him you appreciate that.  Maybe he didn't take you on an anniversary cruise, but he did pray for you when you had a headache.  Praise him for that.  He didn't clean up the entire dinner mess, but he did get his plate to the sink.  Praise him. 

Ladies, first we need to pray and ask God to reveal to us what hidden dangers are lurking.  Then remove them.  Next we need to thank God for our husbands, and this is something we should do daily.  Then, praise your husband any chance you can.  In the words of dear Madame Blueberry, "A thankful heart is a happy heart."  The more we thank our husbands, the more we praise them for what they do, the more we are satisfied and the happier we are.  Today, think of something you can praise your husband for. 

Sweet Blessings~


  1. Great post. Our husbands are the ones God wanted us to have. All and all he makes the best husband. We are with him and he helps us more than what we think. Thanks for the reminder. Blessings.

  2. There's things all around us that could be dangerous to our marriage. Thank you for this great post.

  3. Really good post! Like you said, we need to start by thanking God for the husbands He gave us. I don't want to let any hidden dangers into my marriage. Thanks for this great reminder.

  4. These are such great points girl! I am guilty of wondering why my man doesn't have the super hot abs and the 20 year old body like the fella in the romatic comedy. This is good. To root out all of those situations that may make us wonder those things. At least until we truly know that the fairy tales, romantic novels, etc. are not real life. It's nice to escape into the words on a page but when push comes to shove, we must realize that the man walking through our door is the one God hand-picked just for us! Great post!

  5. Hi Jenifer,
    This is EXCELLENT stuff!!! You are so right about everything you said.
    Love and hugs, Cindy

  6. Oh I have felt the same way!!!! I love to read and got caught up in why my life wasn't like the romance books!! I feel ya 100%, but I've committed our relationship to prayer and do my best to fulfill my role as wife and pray that He'll help the hubby fulfill his husbandly one.

  7. Amen, a long time ago I watched soap operas and that put some really wrong thoughts in my head! We do need to be alert and combat our tendencies to make these dangerous comparisons. What's been working for me is accepting my marriage (especially in tough times) for what it is... God's portion. And, I believe the best about my husband even when it doesn't "look" like I'm getting His best. Because of this God has blessed me with peace... real over-flowing, resentment-free peace.


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