By: Lauren Thomas
Anger can be helpful. It helps us know a wrong has been committed. This can help us protect the innocent and separate ourselves from evil. However, not all anger is accurate. This is due to our fallen natures, our selfish perceptions, and finite understanding. It’s what we do with anger that makes it beneficial or harmful – both to ourselves and others. In fact, Ephesians 4:26 tells us that anger itself is not the problem; it’s the sin that can result from anger. Yet, in Colossians 3:8 we are instructed to “put away” anger, wrath, malice, slander. Notice that progression? Anger is a slippery slope.
If you’ve ever been wronged, you’ve probably walked this slippery slope. And the pathway down the slope is “rehearsal”: we mentally rehearse what we wish we could say to our wrongdoer; we mentally rehearse how we could defend ourselves; we mentally rehearse how we could use our words to protect or vindicate ourselves.
This is very natural – according to fallen natures. Our brains are trying to find a way out of the issue. But, this rehearsal is harmful – emotionally, physically, relationally, and spiritually. Spiritually, because it leads to a “root of bitterness” (Hebrews 12:15). Relationally, because it strengthens the belief that “they” are the bad guys, you are the “victim,” and that there need to be “sides” for others to choose from. Emotionally, because instead of helping us find a way out of the problem, our brains are merely strengthening a neural pathway of negativity. Physically, this mental rehearsal damages our bodies by creating a stress response that wears us down.
What’s the alternative to rehearsing our anger?
1. Take those thoughts captive. As soon as you catch yourself rehearsing, remind yourself of how damaging it is to you and others. Acknowledge that the slippery slope of anger can lead to sin. Repent and focus on something else.
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV
2. Surrender the outcome to the Lord and rest in his protection. It is not our job to vindicate ourselves. That belongs to God. Once you’ve taken captive your thoughts, give them to the Lord.
no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed,
and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord
and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”
Isaiah 54:17 ESV
3. Trust that God will give you the words you need in the right moment, without rehearsing them. In Mark 13:11 and Luke 12:11-12, Jesus instructs his disciples to not plan what to say when they are brought to trial, but to rest in the Holy Spirit who will give the words needed.
Reflection:
Do you experience this rehearsal of anger?
What will you do next time you notice yourself rehearsing your anger?
How do you think taking these steps could change your experience of anger?
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