How to Have an Open Marriage

By: Jenifer Metzger

It is becoming all to common for married couples to have open marriages. If you are not sure what an that is, let me share. An open marriage is when the husband and wife agree that each may have s*xual relationships with other people. The couple may set up rules about when this can happen, or how many partners they can have, etc. Or it may be just more of a go with the flow kind of thing. But the point is, they are not physically committed to just one another.

I want an open marriage.

But not that kind.

I want an open marriage that honors God. A marriage that respects each person and honors the vows we took so many years ago.

How can we have this open marriage?

Communicate. We know communication is important. But do we fully understand the depths of it? As a husband and wife, we must communicate with one another. Communicate our feelings, thoughts, hopes, dreams, even our schedules. The Bible says in Genesis 2, that we become one flesh when we marry. One. So sharing things and communicating with your spouse is like sharing and communicating with an extension of you. Open up and share with your husband.

Listen. Part of communicating is listening to the other person when it's their turn to share. After you share your own heart with your husband, listen carefully as he shares his heart with you. Know that men share differently than women, so his thoughts may not come out in the same way yours do. That's okay. Just listen.

Be honest. Practice honesty in all things. When you mess up, tell your spouse and ask their forgiveness. We all mess up at some point and we all need grace. Hiding things or walking around the truth never helps. Just be honest.

Give grace. When your husband admits a failure to you, even before he admits his failure, give grace. Work through the issue, pray together and move forward. Do not dwell on the problem or continually bring it up. Grace doesn't throw our mistakes in our face.

Pray. Pray and ask God to help you and your husband have an open marriage. Ask God to help you both communicate and listen well. God wants this kind of marriage for you, He will hear and honor your prayers.

What is another way you have have a God-honoring open marriage? Share your own experiences and thoughts with us.

Discussion:
1. Which of these areas are the hardest for you right now? How can you work on it?
2. Which of these areas are you doing well in right now? How can you continue to grow there?