By: Lauren Thomas
Is it just my perspective, or has “obligation” become a bad word? It goes hand in hand with “commitment,” another word thought scary by some. Why?
In the past couple of decades boundaries has become a buzzword. I believe that boundaries are important. But some people seem to have taken this idea to an unhealthy extreme. Culture has swung to the extreme of calling all obligation bad.
But what if obligation can be good? What if we’re missing out by not being obligated?
Obligation is “an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment,” according to Google.
There is such a thing as unhealthy obligation. Usually, this kind of obligation is not rooted in real duty. It is often accompanied by fear and guilt, and it is used as a form of manipulation within toxic relationships. I call it “the FOG” (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). When a person causes the FOG to roll in on us, we should consider setting some healthy boundaries.
But consider how obligation could be good. If someone does good for another out of “moral duty,” that’s a good thing! Duty to Christ should overflow in the obligations that come naturally from our love for one another. Obligation is a helpful glue when it comes to healthy church community. If I am obligated to you and you are obligated to me, we can exist in healthy interdependence within our church community. Consider this in the context of Hebrews 10:24-25:
24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV
As a Christian in a church community, I am obligated to show you love and good works. I am obligated show up at church and show up for you. I am obligated to encourage you. I am under obligation to serve and volunteer. And you are under the same obligation. This works together to make community work well.
This is good obligation. And we need to embrace it if we want to embrace, and be embraced by, good community.
Reflection:
Do you fear or appreciate the concept of obligation? Think of a practical example of how obligation can be a good thing?
Where can you obligate yourself? Is there a ministry at church to which you could obligate yourself? To whom can you obligate yourself?
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