Mentorship and the Mommy Wars

 By: Rebekah Hargraves

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"In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered." ~Titus 2:3-5

"Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another." ~Proverbs 27:17

Have you ever noticed that the mommy wars are even affecting our ability to live out the gospel in the context of community?

Titus 2 says it is the responsibility of older Christian women to come alongside younger women in the church to encourage and counsel them in various areas, not the least of which being motherhood. This is a beautiful model when implemented! But here's the problem: The emotionally-driven mommy wars greatly hinder Titus 2-style mentorship from happening.

Because there are constantly new and different child-development studies releasing, the way women mothered years ago is different from the way we mother today. This constant change, mixed with just how pervasive the mommy wars are, can lead to thoughts in younger moms of, “Why would I listen to so-and-so? She’s archaic in her parenting methods, so what else could she be wrong about?” 

This is how the mommy wars greatly hinder the implementation of the Titus 2 mentorship model. When we major on the minors of co-sleeping or car seat dynamics and measure our opinion of other women based upon whether or not they agree with us in these areas, we deprive ourselves of the wisdom and godly influence older Christian women could, and should, have on us.

May we remember that fellow mamas are image bearers of God just as much as we are, regardless of whether or not their parenting choices match ours. No mama’s identity is found in the parenting choices she makes, but rather in who she is in Christ. For us to disrespect one of God’s image bearers is to disrespect Him and His creation. Remembering and living out that truth is far more important than whether or not we are all making the same educational choices.