Thursday, November 15, 2018

No one ever told me...

by Debi Baker

No one ever told me adulting was so difficult! No one ever told me that one day I would have to parent my parents! No one ever told me I'd want to go back to being a little girl again!

As a little girl, I'd tell my mama that I couldn't wait 'til I grew up. She would tell me to stop wishing my life away!

One day, I found myself on the adult side of life, married with babies of my own!  And I was as happy as I could be.  The years would tick by, one by one.  

No one ever told me that I would die inside with each milestone of my babies. Infant. Toddler. Preschooler. Elementary School. Middle School. High School. College. Marriage. Grandbabies. Watching my children grow was amazing. Actually, it was a love/hate relationship I had with their growing up.  I wanted them to stay small, to continue 'needing' me. But I also couldn't wait to interact with my ADULT children. To have grandbabies. Great-grandbabies. This whole grandparent thing is amazing...until they grow up and Nana isn't so important anymore. Oh, I know they love me but they have lives of their own now. They (some of them) are adults now, too. Going off to college, getting married.  No one ever told me how my heart would long to hold them in my arms once again!

Photo by Mike Castro Demaria on Unsplash

And now...the phase of life that nobody ever talks about. That phase when your parents are getting up there in age.  That phase when they start forgetting. When they start relying on you more and more. When their health begins to deteriorate.  Doctor appointments.  Hospital stays. Being needed more than you're ready to be needed.

This is where I am. At 79 and 80, their health is beginning to fail. They have many doctor appointments.  Why do I need to go?  Because if I don't I'll never really know what the doctor tells them. Because I want to know what's going on so I can provide the best possible care for them as I can. Because I love them.  Perhaps I'm attempting to make up for time I didn't spend with them earlier in life...when my kids were having kids.  No, that's not it.  We're a very close family and we've always spent a lot of time together. I never left them behind like I see so many adult kids doing to their elderly parents!

How difficult it is for a little girl to see her mama forget how to cook.  How devastating it is to see her hero daddy begin to become weak.  She just wants to sit on Daddy's lap one more time and have him brush her damp hair dry.  She just wants to help mama bake another cake in the kitchen.  Time stands still for no one.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NLT tells us this is true.

"1 For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace."

This is my season. I will embrace it and cherish each and every moment. I will commit as much as I possibly can to memory so that when the next season for them is over, I will not forget my time with them.

Have a wonderfully blessed day!

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