The Inevitability of Change

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.

By VictoriaDuerstock

I’m not one who deals with change very well.  In fact, I generally resist it even if it’s a good idea.  I need time to sit with it, think about it, dwell on it and mull it over and the maybe I can deal with change.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a big change or a little one, I find them all difficult. 

As I age, I realize that change is inevitable and I have to work to control those negative emotions, but it’s definitely work.  And of course the big changes are the ones that are the most difficult. You know the job change, the move to a new city, marriage, divorce, birth of a child, etc. These big changes – inevitable and sometimes glorious, and sometimes painful.

This week I deal with the emotions of some big changes.  Our son who has never been in school since we have homeschooled him his whole life. He’s always been involved in the homeschooling environment since he could sit under the table and answer the questions his sisters were being asked about addition, history and anything else.  He has always loved learning and we are excited that he will take a new step.  While we aren’t stopping homeschooling, we are moving to a hybrid of sorts.  He will go to a cottage school 3 days a week and have teachers who will give assignments and teach material, test and grade him.  It’s a change to turn over his education to someone knew in some ways, but it’s going to be a good change for him.  He will be challenged in this environment and that’s a great thing for a young man who we long to grow into the adult man that God wants him to be.  Of course it’s been challenging for me as I’m concerned that he will forget to write an assignment done, or leave his lunch at home. 

But that’s not the only thing going on this week. Our oldest daughter is leaving home for the first time.  She’ll be 20 this fall and she’s headed off to start her junior year on campus.  I’m excited for her of course, but it means a big change.  Of course she could have taken off 2 years ago and we thought she likely would, but we had an extension of shorts when she decided to stay and go to the community college and live at home.  I’m not going to lie.  It has been a special time over the last two years.  A time for us to watch her grow, to see her step out and take responsibilities, to go after goals. There have been difficulties and challenges but we have been together and God has blessed these years.

But the season has come and change is in the air.  I’m not gonna guarantee I won’t cry.  I probably will.  Goodness, I cry for sappy movies and really good books, so the likelihood is high.  But I won’t be a blubbering mess.  I know she’s ready and I’m not worried about her leaving.  But growth can be a bit uncomfortable and change isn’t something I seek.

Seasons are good though and growth is good.  If we aren’t growing, we are stagnating and nobody wants rottenness. Just as we look forward to the advance of the next season, we can look forward to the advance of seasons in our families.  There’s always a wistfulness that things are changing, but the next stages can also bring much joy.  I’m working to remind myself of that now.