As women we are multi-taskers and fixers. We see a problem and we know what needs to be done and how it needs to be done. Too often this comes off on our husbands. We see an issue with the way he is and we want to fix it. From not putting his shoes away to the way he talks to how often he reads the Bible to how he leads the home, we want to fix him.
We begin to tell him what to do and how to do it. We begin to lead those changes. We begin to push for the best outcome. We begin to nag.
Our fixing and nagging has some negative outcomes. First, it tells our husband that he isn't good enough the way he is. Second, he may begin to push in the other direction, not wanting to change just because you said he needed to. And third, it causes unnecessary frustration for both of you.
How can we get our husbands to change without nagging him in the process?
Love him the way he is.
When his 'flaws' bother you, focus on his good qualities, all the things you love about him. Remind yourself why you fell in love with him in the first place. Remember all those cute things he did while you were dating, chances are those are the things you are seeing as flaws now. Begin to love and accept him just as he is.
Pray for him.
Friend, you are not your husband's Holy Spirit. You cannot do what the Holy Spirit needs to do. All you can do is pray for him. Ask God to mold him and make him into the man God wants him to be, not who you think he needs to be.
Pray for his wife.
Ask God to help you to see your husband as He sees him. Ask God to open your eyes to his good qualities and to love and accept him right now, just as he is. Ask God to help you to be the wife you are called to be and to change what you need changed. And ask God to change your heart and to help you to not focus on the little things.
Trust God for the transformation.
Once you prayed asking God to mold your husband into what He wants, not what you want, stop trying to change him. Sit back and trust that God will do the work that only He can do. Know that God is working in your husband and in time, you will begin to see a marvelous change. Free yourself from the heavy burden of fixing your guy and let God do it.
You don't need the extra burden of changing your husband, trust God for this transformation.