My husband and I once watched a movie where in one scene the wife is home waiting on her husband to come home from work. As he pulls the car into the driveway, he catches a glimpse of her in the living room. He is overcome with love for her and just sits in his car and watches her for a few moments before excitedly going in to her. Fast forward a little bit in the movie and the same thing happens. Husband pulls into the driveway and catches a glimpse of his wife. Only this time, things have been stressed between the two. There is a distance. Instead of lovingly watching his wife, he sees her angry and frustrated as she tries to calm the baby and yells at the other kids to calm down and quit running around. Husband sighs as he dreads going into the house.
When my husband goes out to run an errand, sometimes he takes what seems to me like forever. Sometimes I jokingly ask him if he purposely took the long way around just to be alone in the quiet of his car for a longer time. However, when this happens, I always stop and ask myself, did I do anything to make him want to come home? Have I been loving and inviting in a way that makes him excited to be back at home with me? Or have I been mean and disrespectful, practically pushing him out the door and dreading to come back home? The truth is, sometimes he just sees a garage sale and stops to check out the goods or sees someone we know at the gas station and chats for a minute. But sometimes, yes, I have been uninviting to him and coming back home in a rush is not very appealing to him.
Martin Luther once said,
Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.How can we make our husbands glad to home?
- Respect him. Period. It doesn't matter what he has done or how out of wack your emotions are today, respect him. This means don't raise your voice at him, don't roll your eyes at him, and don't call him names. The more respectful you are to him, the more he will want to be home and be around you. If he is getting more respect from his co-workers, family or friends, guess what? That is where he is going to want to be.
- Value him. Men deeply desire to be respected, but they also deeply desire to be valued. When he says something to you, value his opinion, Don't throw his words out the door, think on them. Weigh his opinion. If you ignore his words, why should he bother talking to you at all?
- Love him. When your husband comes home, welcome him with a loving smile, kind word and kiss. My husband works an extremely physical job so he doesn't always come home smelling like roses. Sometimes he even tells me, "you don't want to hug me right now. Let me go shower." But I still always give him a kiss. What man doesn't want to come home and be kissed by his wife as soon as he walks in?
- Make your home inviting. I know that when I come home and my house is disorganized, cluttered and down right a mess, I feel chaotic and stressed. I also know that my husband feels the same way. Keep your home clean so that your husband doesn't have these feelings. I am not talking about having a 'showroom' house. I am just saying to keep things picked up and have some form of organization. Then add special touches, such as a plate of his favorite cookies on the counter, a candle burning to add ambiance and his favorite blanket draped across his chair.
This week I challenge you to work on these 4 ways to make your husband want to come home.
Your turn! In the comments, share another way you can make him want to come home to you.