I don't have to tell you how busy life is. I am sure you know and experience it first hand. Between all we have to do as women, wives and moms, our days are crazy. But where does that leave our marriage?
How can we connect with our husband when life is crazy busy?
- Make your marriage a priority. Decide now that your marriage is important and that you will do what you have to do to invest in it. You will be married till death you do part. That's a long time to be together and not connect. We make time for the things really important to us like a tv show, time with girlfriends or working out. Why would we be so lackadaisical in our marriage?
- Take time out each day to communicate. Even if it's a few minutes at the end of the day, do something to connect. It could be waking up 5 minutes earlier to have a cup of coffee together before the day starts. Have a phone conversation, an actual phone call -or better yet a FaceTime call- not a text, on your lunch break. It'd be almost like a lunch date! Go for an after dinner walk around the block. Hold hands all the way! Lay in bed at night and talk about your day. Do something to intentionally communicate each day.
- Control your calendar. When I look at our calendar, I see practices, games, meetings, appointments, all kind of things. Yours is likely the same. Our calendars control us. It's time to turn that around and control our calendar. For us, most of the time 6 days of the week are jam packed. We purposely do not let anything make its way to our calendar 1 night a week. That is a night to be off. To connect as a family and for my husband and I to connect once the kids are in bed. It's a night to relax and decompress. We need that downtime as individuals, as a couple and as a family. Stop letting your calendar control you. Take time off.
- Go to bed at the same time. When you go to bed at the same time, you are more likely to talk and to be intimate. If you and your husband go to bed at different times right now, try to find a good middle where you can go to bed at the same time. Use that time to connect with each other.
- Touch! There is something so powerful, so healing, about the human touch. Touch your husband and let him touch you. Whether it's holding hands in the car, touching his feet with yours under the dining table, or leaning on each other as you watch tv. That physical connection is so important.
- Date regularly. I would love to tell you here that you should weekly go on a date with your husband. But let's be real. It just doesn't always work that way. If you can, yes! Please do! But for many of us weekly is just not an option in this season of life. And for you, I will tell you try a monthly date. Set aside 1 day a month as a date night. Maybe after church on a Sunday, the grandparents could take the kids for a special lunch while you and hubby go have your own special lunch. Swap babysitting with another family, they get 1 night a month and you get 1 night a month. Ask a trusted neighbor to play outside with your kids while you and hubby take a walk down to the closest fast food joint for a soda or ice cream cone. Whatever it is, intentionally take time out to date regularly.
Remember, life is busy, but your marriage is worth making time for.