Monday, March 9, 2015

Ending On A Good Note

By: Jenifer Metzger

We all know the saying, which comes from the Bible, do not let the sun go down on your anger. 

...Do not let the sun go down
while you are still angry.
Ephesians 4:26

I like to think of it this way. The Bible tells us God's mercies are new every day. That means we wake up with a clean slate. A fresh start. If we take care of our disagreements before the night ends, we wake up with a clean slate. A fresh start.

I don't know about you, but when I go to bed angry, I do not sleep well. I let the anger root deeper in my heart as I lie there awake. When sleep finally comes, it's fitful, not restful. Only to wake up angry still. It affects our sleep. It affects a whole new day.

Here are a few ways to end the day on a good note:

  • Remember to chose your battles. Not everything is worth arguing over. So what if he was so tired that he really just wanted to sit in front of the tv after dinner? Who cares if he squeezed the toothpaste tube in the middle? What difference does it really make if he left his shoes out? Think about the issue before you go to war. If it is not truly important, don't make it an issue at all. Leave it be.
  • If he apologized, even if his way is not with actual words, accept it. If you were disagreeing about something and he, in his way, apologizes, move on. There is no need to carry it to bed. If it is a big issue that needs to be dealt with. Let him know that you accept his apology but you would still like to discuss the issue when you are both calm.
  • Bring God into the issue. Take time out to pray together and ask God to help you each to see how you {both} were wrong and what you {both} need to do to fix the situation. Ask God to give you guidance and help you forgive.
  • There are times when a disagreement is so big or really needs some time to work through it that we just cannot come to a solution before we go to sleep. Sometimes tempers flare so much that we need to take a step back. In these times, it is important to take a moment to pause. Reassure each other that you still love each other deeply and that you want to work this out and you will work it out. But just for tonight, you need to lay the situation aside and get rest. Agree to calmly pick up the discussion the next day after you both have had rest and time to reflect. This helps you to show love and respect to each other while committing to work through the issue.
  • Always, always, always say I love you before you go to bed. Even in the midst of a disagreement, you still must choose love. Let your spouse know that you still love them, even if the day was bad. Even if you had nasty words with each other. Even if you were hurt or you did the hurting. Make sure he knows you love him.

We need to strive to end our day on a good note, work through the problem and wipe the slate clean. Come together as a married couple should and end your day well.

What are other ways that you strive to end the day on a good note after a disagreement? Join in the discussion!

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