The Importance of Acceptance
I struggle as I write this blog today, because I feel great conviction continually in this area of my life. It is my tendency to jump on that perfection train way too often, especially when it comes to my own life, and then, somehow it seems to seep into my interactions with my children also. This, in turn, creates the illusion that I don’t think what my children are doing is good enough, even though that’s not what I intend at all. Maybe you can relate? So, from the get go, let’s have an understanding that God is growing all of us each and every day. Just as my children are learning things, I too, must make mistakes as I “perfect” my faults. It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit would reveal to me areas in my life that I need help accepting myself as I am and being ok with that. I know my children benefit from this prayer also, as it becomes evident in my words and ability to have patience with them. So, what about my children?
I was thinking about the many stories in the Bible when a parent had such good reason to be upset with their child. I thought about the story of Esau and Jacob and how Jacob cheated Esau out of his rightful inheritance from Isaac. The Bible says in Genesis 25:34 that Esau despised his birthright. The Hebrew word in this context was Bazah, meaning to disesteem. The definition of disesteem means to “hold in low regard” or “ lack of esteem”. I am only speculating here, but was wondering why Esau had such a low regard for his family name? He had such a lack of esteem that he was willing to sell his inheritance for a bowl of chili! I have never been impressed with counselors that want to blame mom and dad for their children’s issues, but we have to wonder what home life was like for Esau. The Bible made it very clear that Rebecca favored Jacob and taught him to be deceiving. I wonder if Esau ever felt like he was just never good enough to please his family, therefore his inheritance meant nothing to him? Could it be that Momma Rebecca never really showed acceptance to her son, Esau? I pray that, as a parent, my children will know that I love them unconditionally. I pray my actions speak louder than my words.
A saying has been made popular recently by singing and songwriter artist, Toby Mac. He sings a song called, “Speak Life”. In that song he talks about the power of the words that come out of our mouths. As I spoke about in my earlier blog, we need to make a concentrated effort to add positive reinforcement to our vocabulary to our children. Giving them kudos when they complete a task, whether it is perfectly executed or not, gives them the reassurance that they are doing something that makes you proud and lets them know you are on their side. As they practice their chores or do their work, they will get better at what they are doing. In the meantime, they know that you think they’re great and have a positive position on who they are. You, momma, can change their destiny just by giving them your acceptance of the work they do! How exciting is that? We can direct their destiny!
This brings me back to the importance of chores and responsibility in the family. When we let our children know they contribute to the house by doing chores and you use that opportunity to give positive reinforcement, you are setting them up to be successful in their future and to be proud of who they are and that they’re a part of something bigger. It’s a win-win situation!