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They say the honeymoon phase only lasts a little while. Then reality sets in.
No longer are we seeking to impress our beloved and no longer are those little quirks cute anymore. We go from cutesy dating to struggling to make a marriage work. And it is hard.
I think of kids at Christmas. They are excited with their new toy. They hold on to it dearly and play with it continually. For a little while. After a few months, or even a few weeks, the newness has worn off and the toy is abandoned.
The same happens in marriage. We go out of our way to impress the one we are with. To do kind things for them. To express our love to them. Then the newness wears off and the "real" surfaces.
It's not that we've fallen out of love, it's that we have chosen not to love in the same way. Love is a choice. One we must make daily. Your husband can be romantic and kind this week and you feel deeply in love with him and connected to him. But next week he is tired from his responsibilities and not very kind. You now have decided you are angry with him and not sure you like him very much.
Regardless of your husband's words or actions and regardless of your feelings, you must choose to love. You must choose him.
In her new book, Choosing Him All Over Again, Juana Mikels tells of her experiences of not choosing her husband and her marriage. Real stories of leaving her marriage to find the happiness and peace she longed for. Only to have God call her back and teach her to choose her husband and marriage again.
We know that God can changes lives. We must believe that He can change marriages too. Ask God to help you choose to love your husband. Ask God to help you choose to be the wife you've been called to be. Then make the intentional choice to love your man.
A handsome husband, a dream job, and plenty of money- so why wasn't Juana Mikels happy? In a desperate attempt to find the peace and happiness she craved Mikels left it all behind. InChoosing Him All Over Again: A Story of Romance & Redemption, (Ambassador International; January 2014; $14.99, paperback) Mikels offers an intimate account of her search for Mr. Right, a journey that ended up leading her into the arms of Jesus, and ultimately back home to her husband.
Mikels not only includes a candid recount of her own marriage struggles in Choosing Him All Over Again, but she interviewed more than 40 people, all of whom had been separated or divorced at one time. "It is my prayer that you will be encouraged and able to love your husband and to choose him again," writes Mikels. "It is my delight to share my history with you because my story is a story of God's grace."
Choosing Him All Over Again includes strikingly honest accounts of Mikels' personal experience of separation from her husband and their ultimate reconciliation. Mikels offers wives 11 checkpoints for refreshing any marriage including saying 'I love you' daily, not bringing up past failures and praying for your husband every day. The book provides free resources like prayers Mikels prays for her husband, a note to Christian women married to unbelievers or married to Christian men who are not acting as believers should and access to a FREE downloadable companion Bible study guide.