There's no sounds this afternoon...just the rain on the windows, it's like a healing song for my heart. I just finished reading another section of The Resolution for Women and my eyes fill with tears...my heart is heavy. The kids are in bed...
And I'm relieved.
Most days I'm chasing after perfection. If I don't read them the Bible this morning they are going to turn into athiests later on. If I don't fix them a 3 course breakfast the other mom's will look at me like I'm failing my kids. If the 6 loads of laundry aren't folded and put away, if the living room is not picked up and if the dishes aren't put away I'm failing...but I'm failing anyway. Perfection is only a dream...it's not real.
I'm not perfect.
So when The Resolution for Women book told me I needed to be a soul-shaper the tears flowed freely. God how in the world can I be a soul shaper when my heart is hurting so much...there's so much that has happened this year I feel like one more thing, one more disappointment, one more hurt is going to put me over the edge...but those little people, sleeping so peacefully...they need me.
I saw a picture on pinterest the other day that resonated so loudly in my heart..."When you called me to be mom, you didn't call me to be perfect, just that I'd point them to you in every moment..." That's the point isn't it? The point of mother-hood...
Sometimes it gets lost in the clothes folding and the dishes doing and the bedroom cleaning and the dinner making and the discipline dealing every day thing called life...the point gets lost. What's worse is you can begin questioning if it's even worth it...if what you're doing right now even matters...
It matters...the every day mundane tasks matter because when a little person gets in a fight with their sibling it matters that mom doesn't blow up in that moment. When someone puts fresh fingerprints on a newly windexed window it matters that you don't scold...and when you do scold or blow up it matters when hugs follow and I'm sorry's follow and prayers follow...it matters when you admit to your kids that you're not perfect and that Jesus and His Grace is big enough for the mommy melt down and kid melt downs. The Bible reading and worship song singing matters too but if we don't SHOW our kids then all that will just be plastic to them...it'll be a habbit, something we just do every day...showing, living our faith matters too...When the little's go down for nap and you do your mommy tasks it matters because that's when God turns His eyes to you and watches you work for Him, I can picture His eyes beaming and the love flowing from Him into you......your hands worship Him in those every day tasks...
"Thank you Lord for these dishes..it means our tummy's are full"
"Thank You Lord for this laundry...it means our bodies are warm"
"Thank You Lord for these sticky finger prints...it means my babies are healthy enough to play"
Yes mom, you are a soul shaper...but hear this...and get it in your hearts..."There is only ONE who can keep their unruly minds from becoming the enemy's stomping ground.
There is only ONE who can bend their will until they want to follow God's ambitions for them.
There is only ONE who can steady their runaway emotions before they get our kids into all kinds of trouble.
There is only ONE who can awaken their deadened conscience so it can be led by God's Spirit when you're not around to tell them the difference between right and wrong."
We are working with God...a Holy Partnership to protect these little soul's at all costs...protect them momma...but not just from the outside world...from the inside world too...don't let anything vile into your homes...pray for them, teach them and one day they will have to make the decision for themselves and pray now that they follow God.
Don't worry about being perfect...just pray..pray...and pray some more. And have faith and one day...your harvest will be ready.