The Color of Pure

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This past Mother's Day, my pastor shared a sermon based on Titus 2:3-4 . . .

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

The woman sitting next to me, a few feet down the pew, silently cried the whole sermon. And I knew why. (At least, I think.) No, I didn't ask her . . . but I thought about the fact that ten years ago, I would have cried through the whole sermon, as well. Not that my pastor was trying to make moms cry on Mother's Day! It's just that when someone reminds a mom that she needs to train her daughters to be "self-controlled and pure," a lot of her own sexual choices from her past haunt her. Who wants to talk about it, let alone with our daughters?

The primary communication tool a generation or two ago, was silence (by parents and by the church). However, the world (via the media, sex education, and Hollywood) wasn't afraid to talk about sex. Now, it is screaming and inviting teens to explore their sexuality in every way imaginable.

Moms, we cannot afford to remain silent. God never asks us to do anything that He will not enable us to do. So, pray and share with your teen. Focus on the MESSAGE, not the MESS, in these ways:

1) Clarify God's message. The Word commands us to be sexually pure. Obedience brings blessing and life; disobedience (sin) brings consequences and death (can be spiritual, emotional, physical, or death to a dream or future). Sexual purity is God's message. (Not latex protection or the pill.) Don't confuse your teen by saying one message, but taking actions that communicate a different message.

2) Find healing from your own past, through Christ. (Confess, repent, accept His forgiveness, and then forgive yourself.)

3) Have faith that sexual purity is not impossible. (Love always expects the best of someone.) You can't be your teen's Holy Spirit, so speak the truth in love, pray like crazy, and then surrender the result (your teen's choices) back to God.

2) SKIP DETAILS WITH YOUR TEEN. (Or they might focus on the details, and not your message, which is . . . .)

3) "I made great choices, and God blessed me."
-OR-
"I wish I had been more pure, because I disappointed God."

4) Explain how God always forgives and continues to love us. AND . . . how He even will REDEEM your past for your good and use it for His Glory and purposes. At some point in the future, when your teen is more mature, God may lead you to share details, but wait for His leading.

L.J. Bleed is an adopted daughter of Christ, a wife of 21 years, the mother of three teens, and the author of The Color of Pure--A Story of Life, Love, and Sexual Purity, Rated PG-13, available on Amazon, Kindle, Nook, and the Apple iBookstore.  You can find her at The Color of Pure and on Facebook.