Monday, November 21, 2011

Marriage Monday - I Am Not Superwoman

I try.

I really do.

I try to get it all done every single day.  But I just can't do it.  I am not superwoman, as much as I would like to be.  I try to do it all because I like a clean and orderly home.  But I also want desperately for my husband to walk in the door from work and the entire house be completely and perfectly spotless, the laundry completed, all phone calls made and errands ran, dinner almost done, candles burning, his clothes out for the evening with the bathroom warm and a fresh towel dry for his shower, everything just perfect.  But I just can't do it.  There are just not enough hours in the day to do everything.

I am a stay at home housewife and mom.  To some that translates, sits on her bum and watches talk shows all day.  Wrong.  If you are a housewife, you understand.  Even though I stay at home all day, I still cannot get it all done everyday.

So why I am bringing this up?

I want my husband to come home and be pleased.  I want him to walk in the door and be happy with what he sees.  To me, that means I have to have it all done, as I mentioned above.  But maybe to him that is not what it means at all.

Yes, my husband does like a clean house.  But honestly, he doesn't really care if I didn't get the dusting done today.  He doesn't care if the dogs' bedding was washed today.  He doesn't care if I didn't get the bedrooms vacuumed today.

What my husband wants to come home to is no yelling.  If he comes in from a long day at work and the house is loud with yelling, then he is unable to relax and unwind.  He also wants things picked up.  It's okay with him if it isn't deep cleaned, but he likes it picked up so that he isn't tripping over shoes and toys. Jeremy doesn't care about beds being made (I sure do!) though he likes the bedrooms picked up.  He also likes to for the tv to be available so that he can relax and watch tv before dinner.

I still work hard to get as much as possible done, but the things he really wants done are my priority.  I also try to make sure that his evening clothes are out and ready in bathroom and his favorite blanket is sitting in his chair with the remote on top.  Those things make him feel special, like I was thinking of him.

Though the dusting may not have been done, the dog beds are stinky, and the bikes are still out in the drive way, the things that make my husband walk in and feel welcome and special are done.  That is my goal as his house wife.

What are the things your husband wants done each day?  Maybe he wants a home-cooked meal ready, maybe he likes all of the floors clean, maybe he wants the kids playing quietly, or maybe he likes the scent of the fresh laundry.  If you do not know, ask him.  Ask him to list a couple of things that he sees as a priority for you to accomplish each day.  Then put those at the top of your to-do list, if the rest doesn't get done, it's okay.  Then add something to the list that you think will make him feel special, something to show him you love him and were thinking of him that day.

We may not be super women, but we can make our husbands feel welcome and loved in their home.

Sweet Blessings~


  1. I completely relate to this, Jenifer! I try to change it up, honestly! Some days I have a nice warm meal ready when he walks through the door, other days it's a clean house with a grilled cheese for dinner. The best part is that we equally realize how hard each other works, and the respect given, is treasured!(But I sure do try to get it all done some days!) ;)

  2. I love this too! My hubby sounds like your hubby! He doesn't even care if supper's ready or not but does want no yelling and doesn't want to break his neck tripping on toys as soon as he walks in!

    Love this and a great reminder that we don't have to do it all! Our houses can't be like the ones we see on tv or in a magazine because our's are real!

    Great post!

  3. For too many years I thought I was SuperWoman! And I think everyone else did, too. However, over the years I have come to know...I am just a woman. I have flaws and and no matter how hard I try not to, I make mistakes. I still have a hard time saying 'No' to some, but I am learning.

    I know he likes to come home to dinner ready when possible. Unfortunately, our schedule doesn't permit me to cook as much as he...or I...would like. It sure is nice, though, when I get to make a full meal AT HOME!

  4. I like this suggestion, Jenifer - to focus on what my hubby sees as important and try to accomplish those things everyday. Wonderful encouragement!

  5. This is really a great reminder. Years ago I did the things you have mentioned but now it doesn't seem that I get much done but Papa is always home. I love having him home but very seldom do I get to do the things I used to, seems like it was so long ago. Thanks for a wonderful article, it is sure an eye opener. Love you.

    Blessings to you always!!

  6. Hi Jenifer - great advice. I think us ladies project what we think they want onto ourselves and put ourselves under superwoman pressure. Great advice to ask what it is that they would enjoy coming home to
    God bless


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