Monday, May 23, 2011

Date Your Spouse

Growing up, I remember my parents going on dates once a week.  It was something important to them.  Now, with all four kids out of the house, they are closer than ever and still date each other.

We have friends, a young couple in their early twenties, that do not yet have children.  Yet the still date.  Once a week they take time out to go on a date. 

Why is dating so important?  Life is busy.  Life is hard.  Life can wear down a relationship.  We need that one on one time with our spouse to reconnect.  As my parents discovered, the kids grow up and move away.  Then it is just the two of you.  If they wouldn't have taken time out to date very regularly, I do not believe their relationship would be what it is.  As our friends know, one day the kids will come, they need this time now to really get to know each other and build up that bond. 

There are many excuses to not date our spouse. I have heard them all.  Honestly, I have said them all.  We don't have the money.  We don't have the time.  We don't have a sitter.  I can't handle any more time with him. 

Ladies, if you are the last one and say, I can't handle any more time with him!  I feel ya!  A couple of years ago, my husband was laid off for the better part of the year.  I got a glimpse of retirement and it scared me!  (smiles)  We drove each other crazy.  But dating gets you out of that every day routine.  It's not having the kids around, the dogs barking, the phones going off or arguing over who changed the last diaper.  It's just the two of you.  That time is so important.  If you said, we just don't have the time.  Let me ask you this, do you have any other choice?  How can you not take the time to date your husband?  It should be a priority.  Never a matter of not having the time.   

If you were one that said we don't have the money or sitter, here are a few ideas to help get you going. 
  • Take a walk around the neighborhood.  Just the two of you enjoying God's nature and talking.
  • Drive to the lake or a park.  Take along a favorite dessert from home.  If you both like to read, take a book and read to each other.  Play on the swings.  For our anniversary one year, my husband and I walked to the park and played on the swings.  It was a wonderful date!
  • Make dinner for just the kids, a simple meal.  Then when the kids go to bed for the night, have a nice candle lit dinner just the two of you.  Afterwards, catch an old movie on tv or dance to 'your song.'
  • Once the kids go to bed have dessert and play a board or card game together. 
  • It's garage sale season!  Drive around and hit a few garage sales.  Set aside a certain dollar amount you can afford to spend.  Once that is gone, just stop and look or just take a drive. 
  • Find a neighbor (one you trust) or friends with children.  Trade off babysitting.  They watch your children for free while you go out (or stay in) then the next week you watch their children for free. 
  • Find a neighbor (again, one you trust) or relative and trade services.  Such as, if they need their lawn mowed or house cleaned, you do that for free and they watch your kids for free. 
And lastly, there is one more excuse I used often to not date my husband.  He doesn't make the plans.  As much as we would love for our man to be a romantic and plan something wonderful for us, if he doesn't, we should.  It doesn't mean that he doesn't want to date us or doesn't love us.  Men think different than women.  Maybe it just hasn't crossed his mind.  So you plan something for him.  Taking the above ideas, if you see that his favorite movie is on tv one night, make that a date time.  If he asks for a certain dinner you make, make that a date night.  Make the plans for him!

We must take our marriage seriously and make dating a priority.  What better way to fall in love all over again! 

Sweet Blessings~


  1. This is a great idea. Papa and I used to 'date' once a week and it did make a difference. I don't know why we got away from dating once a week, it just happened. I hope the people reading your post will try this, it will really help. Thanks for a great post and blessings to you.

  2. Great ideas Jenifer, I always say we don't have the money and no one wants to watch two toddlers and if someone offers I feel guilty because they are soo much work but even taking a walk after bedtime can be a date, just time alone. Love this thanks!

  3. I agree dating makes a huge difference. We get caught up in busy-ness and dating gets lost. And since my husband travels, when he is here I have a hard time putting the kids somewhere because they want and need to be with him as much as I do. We do a lot of hot tub dates after their in bed although we really need more than that. Great post, love your marriage Monday's Jenifer!

  4. When your dad & I used to 'date' I never imagined that we were 'showing' you kids how to have a relationship with your spouse. We were, of course. I am glad that it made an impression on you, though I am certain that God would have revealed it to you anyway. People sometimes think that after the kids are gone, they don't need to date...after all, they are together, alone, all the time. Wrong...we still need to break up the monotony of the normal week.

    I completely enjoy every moment I spend with my honey...even when we have a disagreement. I am thankful, though, for the 'dates' that we enjoy together!

    Thank uou for this amazing post. Prayerfully, it will encourage some to 'date their spouse.'

  5. Great ideas! We learned we needed to date when we attended a Marriage to Remember seminar back when we were first married. Sad to say we haven't really done it much, but we really NEED to!

  6. We haven't been on what I would call a date for a long time. Thanks for this reminder of how important one-on-one time with our spouse is. Wanna watch my kids for me? :)


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