Monday, April 25, 2011

The Spiritual Head

Your husband is the spiritual leader in your home. 

Not he should be, but he is.

So many of us women have a hard time with this one.  For many, it is the fact that their husband does not step up and assume that role as spiritual leader.  We greatly desire our husband to lead in family prayer time and devotions, but he just doesn't seem the least bit interested.  For others, their husbands may try to be the spiritual leader, but we don't think he is doing a good enough job of it.  And yet for some, the husband has not yet found his way to Christ.

We look at our husbands and judge that they don't spend time with God as much as we do.  We think they are not reading their Bible enough.  Maybe they are not as active in the church as we think they should be.  Their prayers are not long enough or passionate enough.  We judge that they are just not doing a good enough job of being the spiritual leader.  I have heard women say their husband just does not do it, so they are the spiritual leader.  The truth is, the husband is still the spiritual head, whether we like the way he leads or not.

Ephesians 5:23 says, "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior."

The Bible tells us the husband is the head.  God created it that way.  We must show our husbands respect in this area.  If we are constantly nagging him, or going over his head in this area, he could become hurt, angry, bitter and even give up.  

The most important thing we need to do is pray.  Pray that God would guide our husbands and give them wisdom and authority in becoming the spiritual head.  Then step back and let God lead him.

If your husband is not leading family prayer time, try starting small.  Ask him to say the prayer at dinner.  If he does not want to do this, do not push.    Continue to pray for him daily, then in a month or so, ask him again.  Once he has done this for awhile and feels more comfortable praying with the family, ask him to say the bedtime prayers.  When you are not feeling well, ask your husband to say a prayer for you.  If you have a sick child or your child is having a problem, say to them, "Let's go ask Daddy to pray for you."  Never criticize your husband's prayers! 

Maybe your husband is not leading devotions.  You can ask him to read one scripture verse before dinner or before bedtime.  Again, if he resists, do not push, but continue to pray for him. 

Leading may be something new to your husband.  Especially if he is new in his faith.  You need to hold him in prayer and step back and give him room to lead.  It may take time, but he will get to it.  Remember that God created him for this role

Sweet Blessings~


  1. Thanks for a wonderful blog. So much information here and it should help any woman to help her husband be the spiritual leader, like the Word says he is to be the leader so we need to let him. A wonderful post, thanks again. Blessings and luv you.

  2. Great Post. It is easy for a strong, independent woman (like me...) to criticize when we don't think they are doing it 'right.' The true question is...what is 'right?' If the husband is doing any of these things...then he IS leading. No, it may not be like we think it should be...but, perhaps it is the way God wants it to be. Once your husband is doing something, if we encourage him, it will slowly grow into a full blown thing! I, for one, am going to attempt, with God's help, to be more supportive and encouraging to my husband in this area! Thank you for this reminder to be that kind of wife!

  3. It's true he is the head whether we think he's filling the role or not. Praying for him and gently nudging him are the best ways to "help" him (because we are the help-mate after all) into this godly role. Great post :)

  4. Heidi, so true! He is the leader, but we are the help-mate. We can help by praying and encouraging.

  5. I wonder how many times my husband "failed to lead" us because I was the one jumping out in front of him because I didn't trust God with what that would look like? I shudder to think.....

  6. Great post! Our husband is the spiritual head. I don't want to criticize, but rather support in love and prayer. I want God to lead my husband, not me.

  7. It's so hard not to nag them into their role, but that is God's place, not mine! We've gotten slack about our nightly devotions with my boys due to just being tired! I don't want to make this a habit so tonight I'm gonna make the effort and give a little nudge to the hubby!

  8. This has always interested me because I am married to a man who is not a Christian- in fact he is against all things Jesus- at least when it comes to his life. This is because of an incident when he was growing up, however he does not stop me from and even encourages me to go to church and other church events. But I hold close to Man is the head of the house and pray. All I can do is pray for him and continue to follow Gods rules for a christian wife.

  9. Connecting with the soul: We are to follow our husbands unless they tell us to go against God. And it sounds as if your husband does not ask that of you. You are doing the right thing in praying for him. I will hold you and your husband in prayer. ~Jenifer of Woman to Woman


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