An Intentional Prayer Life

By: Grace Metzger 

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 

Colossians 4:2

Recently I saw a TikTok about a movie I saw years ago and it prompted me to try to rewatch. The War Room was an amazing movie about building a strong prayer life and watching it would change your life. I love the movie, but every time I watch it I start to think, is my prayer life as strong as it should be?

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.
 With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Ephesians 6:18

Sure, I pray for my meals, I pray at church, and I even pray when I see an accident on the road. But am I truly praying on all occasions? Am I lifting my requests to God or am I simply doing this out of habit? Doing things in my walk with God out of habit is probably one of my biggest struggles. I grew up in a very Christian household, with parents who taught me to pray for every meal. It's not even something I have to think about. But what ends up happening to me is I get into a habit and I never actually use my prayers to grow my relationship with God. I'm not praying for Him to help me with my struggles, I'm not praying in thanksgiving. I am simply praying because it's something that I'm supposed to be doing.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which

 transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

There are more benefits to prayer then I can even list off. I challenged myself the last few weeks to spend time in intentional prayer with God, even if it's a five minutes while I'm driving to work. I noticed a big difference in my life from just that, from being more patient to feeling more peace. The effects it's had on my life have been big! 

I challenge you this week to spend some intentional time with God, start with five minutes a day. If you can spend hours on social media then I know you can find five minutes a day to spend in prayer. But spend a week in prayer and then come back to take note of what effects you're seeing from it. Has it changed the way you're approaching issues? Are you in a more peaceful mindset? Have any of your needs or the needs of those you prayed about been answered? Whatever the change might be, take a note of what changes you see and how it can improve your life!

Discussion Question:

What has helped in your prayer life in the past?

29 Things I've Learned About Marriage in 29 Years of Marriage

By: Jenifer Metzger

Today my husband and I celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary. 29 years. Wow! In some ways it feels like it has been forever, as though he has literally been in my life forever. In other ways I cannot believe it has already been 29 years.

Has it been an easy 29 years? Absolutely not. Marriage is like a roller coaster, there are many ups and many downs. But there are a few things I have learned in 29 years of being a wife.

29 things I've learned about marriage in 29 years of marriage, in no particular order:

1. Make a commitment now that divorce is never an option. (This is not the case if abuse is happening. If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help from a pastor or trusted friend immediately.)

2. Be a good listener. When talking with your husband, pause what you are doing and give your husband your full attention. Put your phone down, put your book down, pause your TV, pause your game, if it can wait, make it wait and give him eye contact.

3. Be a forgiver. Your marriage will absolutely not survive without forgiveness.

4. Be a helper. No matter who works where or who stays home, you can both be helpers. My husband works and I stay home. Yet, he helps with the dishes and picks up the house when needed, and I always make sure his work clothes are ready and pack his lunch. We have our roles but we help each other.

5. Pray for your spouse and marriage. Pray for his health, mind, emotions, relationships, job, ministries, anything and everything. Pray over your marriage, for forgiveness, kindness, love, time together, again, anything and everything.

6. Pray together. There is power in standing face to face and praying together with your spouse.

7. Be kind. We tend to let the weight of the world drag us down and our husband gets the worst of us. We are tired from work or dealing with the kids, and our frustration spills onto our husband. We need to be intentional with being kind.

8. Never, ever bad mouth your husband to anyone, including your parents or best friend. Never join in on husband bashing, ever. No matter how upset you may be with him, don't bad mouth him.

9. Talk good about him to others. You can make his name great.

10. Be interested in your husband's interests. My husband collects sports cards. I do not. Yet, I go to sports cards shows with him, when he buys and sells cards I look closely at them, and I've learned some of the terminology of the card world. I quickly realized that taking an interest in his cards means a lot to him.

11. Be his biggest cheerleader. No one will cheer your husband on like you can. Celebrate his wins, reward his accomplishments.

12. Even if you are uncomfortable with your body, he loves it so let him look at it. God made men visual and your body is the only one he can Biblically look at, so let him look.

13. Never deprive him of sex. Sexual intimacy in marriage is a must. (1 Corinthians 7:5)

14. Date each other. Dating helps keep your marriage alive. It helps you remember why you married in the first place. It helps remind you that you are more than just dad and mom or roommates. Date weekly if you can, or maybe monthly works better for you. Whatever it is, just date.

15. Go away together. My husband and I only took one weekend trip alone when our kids were growing up and it was wonderful. Once our kids were grown, we took a week long trip together and realized it was something we should have been doing all along. That time away helps you really shut out the world and focus on each other. Maybe you can take a trip every year, maybe every other year works better for you, but take the trip!

16. Never stop getting to know each other. As we age, we change, we evolve. My husband is not the same man at 48 that he was at 19, and I am not the same woman at 46 that I was at 17. We have different interests, different habits. We have to continually get to know each other.

16. Spend a little time each day talking to each other. Life keeps us busy. It can be easy to go all day long and not even connect with each other. Be intentional about talking each day. 

17. Hug him. Every day hug your husband. That physical contact does so much mentally and emotionally.

18. Kiss him. A kiss brings intimacy and connection. Kiss him. Not a quick peck and run, really kiss him.

19. Tell him you love him and why. He needs to know that you love him, but he really needs to know why you love him.

20. Respect him. Even if you do not agree with him, respect him.

21. Show your appreciation. Tell him "thank you" often. Thank you for working hard for our family. Thank you for being present tonight. Thank you for washing the dishes. Thank you for running that errand for me.

22. Take care of yourself. Especially during those years of raising little ones it can be hard to care for ourselves. We get so busy taking care of everyone else that it is easy to forget ourselves. Take care of yourself.

23. Do things your husband likes. My husband really loves when I wear sundresses, so I try to wear sundresses often for him. If he likes when you wear red lipstick, wear it sometimes. If he likes when you light a candle in the bedroom, light it. Try to do things he likes often.

24. Give him space to rest. Sometimes we expect our husband to go, go, go. But he needs rest. Yes, we need rest too, but we often just expect our husband to not need rest. Especially after work, give him space to rest.

25. Greet him at the door. When your husband gets home, whether from work or play, greet him at the door. Let him know you are glad he's home.

26. Laugh together. Life doesn't have to be all serious. Do things that make you laugh together. Watch a show you both enjoy that makes you laugh, play a game, whatever it is just laugh together.

27. Tell him what's wrong. Women are famous for saying, "I'm fine" even when we aren't. And we do this for several reasons. But the truth is, holding it in gets us nowhere. When something is bothering you, tell him. Be gentle and loving about it, but share.

28. Keep your eyes and heart only for him. Never let your eyes wander in any other direction. Never let your heart flutter at anyone other than your husband.

29. Spend time with God. This is for you, but it's also for your marriage. Spend time with God daily. Be in the Word and pray. Your marriage needs it as much as you do.

These 29 things are not all things I've mastered. But they are things I've come to know are true and work hard at. Marriage isn't always easy, but it is a blessing.

To my Jeremy, I love you so deeply and I am so thankful for you. Always & forever.

Discussion:
1. Which of these are ones you need to work on?
2. What are some lessons you've learned in your own marriage?

Fruits of the Spirit Series: Kindness

 By: Rebekah Hargraves

Photo Courtesy of:  Adam Nemeroff

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness...." ~Galatians 5:22a

In our series on the fruits of the Spirit, we come this week to the fruit of kindness. This is another area, just as we saw last week when talking about patience, where Paul overlaps some of his teachings and includes a fruit of the Spirit in his description of what love is in 1 Corinthians 13 - "Love is patient and kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4a).

We hear a lot about things like niceness and kindness in our day and age, and our culture is quick to define these characteristics in a way that doesn't enable us to both 1) disagree with someone else or to disapprove of their life choices and 2) still be described as being nice or kind. We are told that disagreement or disapproval = hatred. But this simply is not the case.

On the other end of the spectrum, there are professing Christians out there who will say that the nicest or kindest thing you can do is point out someone's sin, and will do so as a way to excuse their nasty behavior when pointing out someone's sin. They will refer to the topic of "speaking the truth in love", but forget to add in the love part while speaking the truth. This is wrong, as well.

The Greek word translated "kind" in 1 Corinthians 13:4 is "chrēsteuomai", the definition of which is "to show one's self mild, to be kind, use kindness". The Greek word translated as "kindness" in Galatians 5:22 is "chrēstotēs", the definition of which is "moral goodness, integrity, benignity, kindness", and elsewhere in Scripture is translated "gentleness" 

So, what do we take from this? We see that Biblical kindness as we are called to is gentle, mild, benign, and good. This is all important for a number of reasons, not the lest of which being that it corrects both wrongs and extremes I mentioned above.

On the one hand, kindness is moral goodness. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13 that love is both kind and also does not rejoice in wrongdoing. So, it is not kind to support someone's ongoing, unrepentant sin. That sin is not in their best interests, so the kind thing to do for that person is to gently and humbly address it with them and help them to find the answer to their struggle and their eternal need for Christ. 

But also note that kindness is also mild mannered, benign, and gentle. Kindness does not look like beating someone over the head for their sin. Far from it! It looks like being long-suffering with people, humbly acknowledging our own sin struggles, and gently interacting with them.

Kindness is also not the same thing as niceness, either, for to remain "nice" can sometimes mean sweeping things under the rug, not having the hard conversation or needed confrontation, or refusing to speak honestly for fear of not being viewed as "nice". Niceness can look like being a peacekeeper, but kindness looks like being a peacemaker - and there is a world of difference between the two! "Niceness" can look like the deceptive "approval" of an enemy as talked about in Proverbs, while kindness is open, honest, and true.

In a world wherein the true definition and meaning of words can get twisted so very quickly, it is important for us to know God's definition of them. And this is certainly true in the area of the fruit of the Spirit known as kindness!

Reflection Questions:

1) What stood out to you about today's study?

2) Do you tend to operate from the Bible's definition of kindness or from the world's definition?

3) What needs to change in your kindness (or lack thereof!) towards others? How can you lean on Christ and the Spirit to help you with that?

Those Sleepless Nights

 By: Joanne Viola

 

Watching impressionable programs, or the late evening news, is never a wise choice for me. Either of those can work on my mind causing difficulty falling asleep, a restless night’s sleep, or nightmares.

Opening my Bible one morning, I read the heading on a psalm – “A morning psalm.”

David wrote this particular psalm as he was fleeing from his son, Absalom, who was after his life.

And therein, was the remedy for those sleepless nights:

• Perspective. We need to shift our perspective. It is exactly what David does. He moves his thoughts from his circumstances to the One able to help Him.

“Salvation belongs to the Lord; Your blessing be upon Your people!” 
(Psalm 3:8, NASB)

• Protection. We must remember the One who is our protection.

“But You, O Lord, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head.” 
(Psalm 3:3, NASB)

• Peace. With a perspective change, and remembering who is the One protecting us, His peace comes, and so does sleep.

“I lay down and slept, I awoke, for the Lord sustains me.” 
(Psalm 3:5, NASB)

There is a reason this psalm has the heading – “A morning psalm”.

As we come to the Lord in prayer each morning,
we are able to gain renewed peace
as we align our perspective with God’s truth.

 

Reflection: 

How do you change your perspective when your circumstances are challenging?

 

Image by Tyli Jura from Pixabay

 

Don't Give Up, Use Your Lifeline

By: Jenifer Metzger

I have a game on my phone that I love to play. It's one of these games where you match certain items to level up. You get five lives to play. If you win the level, you move up. If you lose the level, you lose a life; after losing five lives, you have to wait to get more lives. One time I was playing on my last life, I only had a couple moves left and I was about to lose. I have been stuck on this level for a week and was tired of playing it. Knowing I couldn't beat the level, I was about to just give up. Then I noticed I had a lifeline. I could 'clear a row' which would get me much closer to winning. I decided to use my lifeline. I won-finally.

We live life the same way.

We begin to struggle with a situation and we don't see a way out. We are so close to just giving up. Why live for God when everything keeps going bad? Why keep trying to save the marriage when nothing helps? Why keep trying to discipline the kids when they keep disrespecting? Why keep trying at anything when nothing ever goes right?

We often forget that we have a lifeline.

What's our lifeline? God. Instead of fighting on our own, we need to turn to God. He is right there, sitting and waiting for us to call out to Him. He wants to help. When I don't use a lifeline on my game, it is wasted. It's like a gift given to me that I set aside and never open. Friends, God is your gift given to you. Yet we set Him aside and never open the gift.

Come to Me, all of you who are weary

and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,

because I am lowly and humble in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls. For

My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30 CSB

God gives us even another lifeline gift. This lifeline comes in the form of friends, accountability partners, mentors, and fellow Christians. It is easy to hold our problems in, think we have to deal with it on our own. Yet when we share our burdens with others, they can lift us in prayer and give encouragement. Years ago I had a dear friend who was going through a dark time, yet never shared with anyone. Then one day, what seemed to me, out of the blue, she left her husband. Come to find out, there had been horrible issues going on for many years. Had they shared their burden, their Christian family could have been praying for them and helping them.

Carry one another’s burdens; in this

way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2 CSB

What are you facing today? Do you feel like you are losing? Do you feel ready to just give up? Use your lifelines! Turn to God. Give Him your burdens and ask for His help. Then, go to your mentor or accountability partner. Share your burden and ask for prayer on your behalf. Don't let your lifelines sit there unused.

Discussion:
1. Think of a situation you have faced. Did you use your lifeline, God? Did you turn to Him or try to face it on  your own?
2. When you face situations in life, do you make it a practice to reach out to a trusted friend or mentor? If not, what keeps you from seeking counsel? If so, how has it helped you?